Plus side
- Overall comments: "I love the ‘premise’ of your assignment here. Creating a narrative, whether real or fictive, is a creative device that has ‘framed’ your pictures. I also appreciate the running poetic verses you’ve written, which add a personal narrative to the search bringing up memories and random associations. It doesn’t quite captivate me but it is a very promising idea. Nevertheless, it shows you’re thinking ‘out of the box’ and beginning to join text to picture in experimental ways."
=> I am happy Robert appreciated my effort to experiment the mix between text and images. I am convinced that I have to think more and more "out of the box" in order to develop my artistic path. The combination between photos and poetical text can be really an interesting way for my personal growth.
- Images 1-6. "This series of urban perceptions are well composed and make good atmospheric impressions of the place. Technically they are almost faultless; I think you could have straightened some of the naturally straight lines. But you really are confident about how to arrange the different elements of the view in the frame. In terms of pure subject interest, the picture of the hand prints stands out to me. Maybe because it provides a mysterious human connection in this initial series. Also because it resonates with the text and the idea of following it with the photo of the child."
=> As I know to be "technically weak", I am proud to read that this series of images are technically faultless because I tried hard in putting a lot of attention to the technical aspects of my pictures.
The approach I wanted to have planning the shooting was as "cold" and "neutral" as possible. Even the post production left the photos almost unchanged and that is the reason why I did not want to straighten some of the lines that Robert mentioned.
- Images 9-11. "I would cut image 10 here because it doesn’t reflect the same kind of young male macho attitude of the other two. They are really good portraits. 9 because you’ve framed one guy with two headless pals in the foreground. 11 because the pose and attitude of the guy with sun- glasses is so completely “American Hip-Hop”. You’ve captured the character his gestures."
=> Image 10 is indeed the weakest of the three, but I decided to leave it because, in my opinion, it gives continuity to the flow of images and because it is supposed to underline the flavour of an atmosphere imbued with alcohol, smoke and hip-hop.
Things to improve
- Image 7. "It’s a pity this is not in focus. It also isn’t a great portrait. But the idea of a suddenly appearing child in red is quite strong in this neutral coloured and (until now) people-less environment."
=> I fully agree with Robert on his comment.
- Image 12. "The voluptuous folds of this woman’s body suggest a random erotic perception. It would have worked a lot better if you’d used shallow depth of field to soften the distracting background. It’s all about her torso, not the place. The light is also a bit grim for the subject. With a photo like this you kind of break away again from the first more architectural project and the Hip-Hop kids to something altogether different which creates a feeling of incongruity. It’s difficult to see how all this gels together and becomes an integral whole."
=> I agree on the fact that I should have used a shallow depth of field to soften the distracting background. However, my intention was exactly to break from the previous first "architectural" and then "hip-hop" approach. On purpose I was looking for the feeling of "incongruity" perceived by Robert because it is the exact feeling that I had during my shooting. My introspective journey was full of "incongruities" and ended up with the discovery of somebody (myself) that does not fit at all into the scheme, exactly like the fat lady does not fit at all with the previous pictures.
- "On the whole, I feel you haven’t put this work together in an interesting and telling manner, but the raw material is there. Think about sequencing or pairs. Search for a resonance between pictures."
=> I like the idea about the sequencing or pairs. As Robert says, poetry, after all, is a special kind of syntax and photography can really work well as visual poetry. In the future I would like to pursue this way and maybe trying to work with photographic diptych combined with poetical texts.
Final conclusions
"Congratulations on finishing People & Place. I hope you will continue your photographic studies because you’ve got talent and you’ve shown that you are capable of self-motivated learning. Maybe now is the time to assess your progress through all the courses you’ve done and consider what to do next. OCA have many new courses, Context and Narrative is challenging and I think it would suit you."
=> As I wrote in the conclusions of the assignment, this final assignment was a fantastic photographic experience. I am very satisfied because the work done in Arles helped me to express what I learned during the last year with my tutor and the PaP course. Indeed I have learned a lot and I really believe I have made good progresses from the beginnings of my first assignment to this final one. I have to thank my tutor Robert for his advice and patient encouragement throughout this course.
I will definitely go on with my OCA's studies and I think that, as Robert suggested, I will consider "Context and Narrative" as the main option going forward.
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